Thursday, November 25, 2010

My Rut

I have been stuck in a rut for the last couple years.  It was a comfortable rut.  It molded itself to me and never asked that I change.  Perhaps, more accurately, it never let me change.  I am climbing out of this rut.

I find a reoccurring theme of living an abundant life in scripture.  Although I am just learning what an abundant life really is, I am confident I know what it is not.  It is not the rut I was stuck in.

On Sunday I spoke briefly at church about what God has been doing in my life.  The bulk of what I spoke about was how God has been creating dissatisfaction in me with how my life has been.  I realize it sounds strange crediting God with creating dissatisfaction but that's exactly what I needed.  My old life consisted mostly of work, tv, video games, sleep and  food.  I would squeeze church in when my schedule allowed, but I didn't try too hard.  It makes me sad to say that.  And then BAM, it became so unsastisfying.  The old things that filled my life didn't really fill me any more.  I had the urge to seek for something of substance.  I am still seeking, but I am also finding.  My new life consists mostly of work, sleep, food, church, C&C, prayer time, reading things of God, worship, and even people.  Can you see the difference?  I can feel it.  I feel my life is more abundant now than it has ever been.  That's not to say I have arrived.  I merely started on the journey.  There are still things of substance to incorporate into my life and there are desires I want, which I am learning to hand over to God.  I hope they are desires placed in me by God.  I can't say for sure, but that's why I feel I am on a journey.  There's discovery around every corner.  I'm sure I'll get lost a couple times along the way but I am learning to ask for directions from people who've gone before me and from the Map Maker Himself.

And on a more superficial tangent, I am making myself try new things.  For too long I have lived an insular life.  I became quite boring.  Now I am looking for a little adventure in life.  For instance I am going to make myself learn to ski, even if it kills me (which previous experience tells me is a possibility).  I am going to my company's Christmas party.  (I skipped my previous company's past 5 Christmas parties.)  I am going to C&C's Christmas party (which I was considering skipping).  I am going to get more involved with Sunday School at church.  I am even going to travel/vacation just to have fun.

Update:  I may as well learn how to dance while I'm at it.

Take that, rut!

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