My Dad

My Dad is
a man's man
a salt of the earth guy
a blue collar guy
a perfectionist
a hunter
a giver
a very hard worker
a fixer of anything mechanical
an extrovert
an electrician
mostly moustached
dependable
callused
kind

This will be one of the few entries I talk about someone else without keeping their identity secret.   My life has been greatly impacted by my dad, and so I can't talk about it without talking about him.

Dad grew up in rural Saskatchewan on a farm.  He only spoke French until the age of 5 when he attended kindergarten and his surprised family discovered school was only in English. He was driving a truck by the age of 7 and a combine by 12.  By 16 he was helping raise his family, going to school, and holding down a full time job.  He never actually graduated from high school, just a couple credits short.  He did not let my brother or I know.  When I was 10 he received his GED after submitting his trade school accreditation for his missing credits.

The book The Five Love Languages describes different ways people say, "I love you."  It's an interesting read.  My dad does not say it with words or with affection.  My dad says it through acts of service.  Growing up I have seen my dad give away 3 cars, 1 truck, hundreds of pounds of meat and tens of thousands of dollars to family and friends in need.  I have seen him give his services as an electrician and an all round handy man without asking for a dime.  It is a powerful witness to me, to see my dad do these things.  It is magnified by the fact that we did not have very much growing up.  That will be the subject of a different post.  However, just because our family sometimes struggled to make ends meet, it never kept my dad from giving to those he felt were worse off than us.  To this day dad still rotates my tires for me.  It's not that I can't.  It's how he says I love you.  It took me a long time to let dad do this for me, trying to figure out why he always wanted to help do these things.  Now I know.

I said previously that I find it difficult to relate to guys/men and I felt that was partly because dad wasn't around much when I was growing up.  It left a hole in my life that I'm not sure has ever been filled.  It's not that he didn't want to be around.  Dad did what he had to do to provide for our family.  I respect his sacrifices greatly.  I never realized how much of a sacrifice it must have been for him until recently when I had to work away from home myself.  It was extremely difficult for me and I'm not married and I don't have kids.  It really hasn't been until recently, as an adult myself, that I have got to know my dad.  It's a very unique situation to be in.

I respect my dad so much for what he has done for our family, and yet, I don't want to be the same type of dad to my future family as dad was to us.  Most of my developmental years dad had to work in other cities to pay the bills and keep us fed.  Even when he was home he would have to run around paying bills or fixing the car or other errands until he had to go away again to work.  It created a bit of a void in my life.  I never really had the opportunity to see how a man lived.  I never got to see how a husband treats a wife.  I didn't really get to experience how a father plays with his kids.  I never want to be away from my family.  I don't want to be a stranger to my kids.  In some ways I have had to think very intentionally about what kind of husband and father I want to be because I knew growing up I did not want to do what my dad had to.  I think that is a good thing.

My dad is a good man.  One of the best.  If you know my dad, you would agree.