Thursday, May 29, 2014


I remembering sitting in a doctor's office years ago as kid. I picked up a Reader's Digest and came across an article about a man who had two giant jars filled with marbles. Each marble represented a day of his life. One jar was for the good days. The other jar was for the wasted days. The goal was to keep track of how well his life was spent. I always thought that would be interesting to do. I guess the goal would be to have more marbles in the good day jar than the wasted day jar. The last year or so, I'm not sure which jar would be winning. I feel like a lot of days were wasted with work. I know work allows me to buy things, give things away, feed myself, etc... but once the necessities are provided for there's more to life than material and money. I don't want to miss out on the things I really want, because I'm doing the things that aren't quite necessary. It's a fine line. I'm trying to figure out which side some of my responsibilities fall on. And work isn't earning a lot of good day marbles at the moment.

Sunday, May 25, 2014


It's been a long time since I didn't have to do anything.

I have a To Do list at work. There's about 20 things on it. I have a To Do list at home. There's about 20 things on it too.

This means that I always have something to do. There's always a deadline coming. There's always something that can't wait until later. It makes it really difficult to enjoy life. There's never any time to relax. Even when I take time for me, it simply means the "To Do" list is hanging over my head, overshadowing what should be a good time. And the longer I put off the list the more things seem collect on it. It feels never ending.

I know a person who doesn't work a lot. She doesn't have a lot either, but when she is done work for the day. She is done. She isn't on call. She doesn't have a To Do list waiting for her at the "office". She doesn't have a To Do list at home, outside the normal things we all have to do like laundry and grocery shopping and the like. Her time is actually her time. When she isn't working, she is living life.

I don't remember what that is like any more. This weekend I was called from work to arrange crews and charters. I have over 7000 pounds of freight to move and all my flights are sold out and I need to arrange more flights for VIPs. And that's just life as I know it. Today I was fielding questions from 2 different staff in 2 different cities while I was at church. It's hard to focus on God or have a day off when work can call you at any given moment.

I am seriously re-evaluating things. All things. This next year I will make some very intentional decisions about career and life and whatnot. I need to know that when I am home, work is done. I need to simplify my life so that I don't have a million things to do when I'm not working. That's a good start for now.