Sunday, October 27, 2013


Six years ago I decided to run a marathon. I had no experience long distance running and really didn't have any experience with physical activity for 10 years at that point. But I decided I was going to do it and that was that.

Every night I'd go to bed at 8pm and every morning I'd wake up at 4am. By 5am I was in the gym running on the treadmills. Fortunately, my work schedule allowed for the routine, but still, I had discipline. When I decided I was going to run this race I decided that I was going to do what ever it took to make it happen.

I can't say I've approached many other tasks in life with that same discipline as I did that marathon. I wish I did. I know I have the capacity to excel at almost everything I put my mind to. I think its time to think big again.

Next year I am going complete the Iron Man. I'm not exceptional. I'm just disciplined.

But that's not really thinking big. I've got bigger things in mind still. I need to be disciplined if they are ever going to happen. And confident. And committed. And maybe a little help from God too. But I can be disciplined in my prayer life as well.

I haven't been disciplined for quite some time. I think self control is part of being a man. I need to assert my self discipline. I'm still working on the whole "being a man" thing. I think this is part of it. Or the beginning of it. Good bye procrastination. Hello discipline.

God, Please help me.

The Drought Ends

I wrote in my journal last night.
The first time in 67 days.
Something happened last night that I felt compelled to record.
I still don't know if it was good or bad. Mostly a blur. I've relived it over and over again in my head a million times and I still don't know. It involves the area of my life I am weakest in. Think Sheldon Cooper on a date and you're in the ballpark.

I wish I could write more in this space but I don't know what to say except I don't understand social customs and don't pick up social cues easily. This creates a lot of frustration and confusion in my life. Friday night was very confusing for me.

And now I need to go pray and process what exactly just happened.

Thursday, October 3, 2013