A song from the last C&C of the season. Here's deliriou5? performing Majesty.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Red Again
No context, just Red's newest video. I like how they mix traditional stringed instruments with more modern sounds. I suppose Metallica started it all by doing a concert backed by an orchestra years ago, but Red actually uses them as part of the song, not just a single concert.
And there's fire.
And there's fire.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Introverts in the Church
I recently came across a book called Introverts in the Church. Wow. After briefly skimming through the first couple chapters I was amazed. Someone was saying exactly what I felt growing up in the church as an introvert, and to some extent, what I still feel a little to this day.
Although I know I am not the only one, it is still nice to occasionally hear a similar voice saying, "I like to be alone. I don't like crowds. I'm not a socialite. I'd rather hide in the bathroom than have to shake 50 people's hands and make small talk before the church service begins."
Here's an excerpt from the book:
I have always said the purpose of this blog is to give people a chance to get to know me a little better, despite my introversion. So, if you are an extrovert trying to understand this introvert or introverts in general click on the link below. Click on the Google Preview button on the page that opens and you can read the book online.
Introverts in the Church | Contents- InterVarsity Press
Although I know I am not the only one, it is still nice to occasionally hear a similar voice saying, "I like to be alone. I don't like crowds. I'm not a socialite. I'd rather hide in the bathroom than have to shake 50 people's hands and make small talk before the church service begins."
Here's an excerpt from the book:
I relished times of solitude, reflection and personal study. I enjoyed people and found satisfaction in depth of relationship and conversation, but even when I spent time with people I liked, I looked forward to moments of privacy. I found crowds draining. I could stand up in front of hundreds of people and preach a sermon without nervousness, but I often stumbled through the greeting time afterward because my energy reserves were dry. Though I did not know this eight years ago, there is a label for this personality feature that I once thought crippled my potential for ministry: introversion. But more than my introverted temperament was involved in producing such agonizing results. Partly to blame was the one dimensional image of leadership that I had constructed. There was an irresolvable conflict between the artificial image and the temperamental characteristics of introverts... I tried to beat and squeeze myself into a mold of leadership instead of becoming the leader God had created me to be.
My struggles to be an introverted pastor are representative of the struggles many introverts face when navigating the waters of Christian community, which can be unintentionally, or intentionally, biased toward extroversion... It is my experience that evangelical Churches can be difficult places for introverts to thrive, both for theological and cultural reasons. Just as I have had a difficult time squaring my own temperament with common roles and expression of the pastoral ministry, so also many introverted Christians struggle with how to find a balance between their own natural tendencies and evangelical perspectives on evangelism and community. A subtle but insidious message can permeate these communities, a message that says God is most pleased with extroversion.
I have always said the purpose of this blog is to give people a chance to get to know me a little better, despite my introversion. So, if you are an extrovert trying to understand this introvert or introverts in general click on the link below. Click on the Google Preview button on the page that opens and you can read the book online.
Introverts in the Church | Contents- InterVarsity Press
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Content
Dear Diary,
Things are going good. That's always a good thing.
Work is good. I've been busy but I'm learning to deal with it. I didn't get a promotion I wanted, but I'm ok with that.
I've been praying for people and things. Some prayers have been answered with a yes, and some have been answered with a no. And some, I'm not sure about yet.
My friend Ken is at it again. Arg. It frustrates me because I actually care about Ken's well being.
I went to Declare and Surrender last week. It was good. I'm glad I made the effort.
I didn't go to C&C this week. That was a tough decision. I was so tired from work and had an early start to my next day. I think I needed that time to rest.
Last night I went bowling with friends. Then we went out to Montana's Restaurant. They surprised me with a little birthday platter and a moose hat. I guess that's how we do it in the big city. It was good.
And today was a me day. I ate a steak. I'm still in my PJ's, and I'm almost ready to go to bed. I needed a day like today.
Tomorrow at church we are saying good bye to a lady who is moving away. She is quite involved in the church and I will be sad to see her go. Nine months ago I didn't even know her name. Tomorrow I will miss her. That is progress for me.
I think I'm feeling content. Hello? Is that you contentedness? Is this what you feel like?
Thanks Lord for your goodness.
Things are going good. That's always a good thing.
Work is good. I've been busy but I'm learning to deal with it. I didn't get a promotion I wanted, but I'm ok with that.
I've been praying for people and things. Some prayers have been answered with a yes, and some have been answered with a no. And some, I'm not sure about yet.
My friend Ken is at it again. Arg. It frustrates me because I actually care about Ken's well being.
I went to Declare and Surrender last week. It was good. I'm glad I made the effort.
I didn't go to C&C this week. That was a tough decision. I was so tired from work and had an early start to my next day. I think I needed that time to rest.
Last night I went bowling with friends. Then we went out to Montana's Restaurant. They surprised me with a little birthday platter and a moose hat. I guess that's how we do it in the big city. It was good.
And today was a me day. I ate a steak. I'm still in my PJ's, and I'm almost ready to go to bed. I needed a day like today.
Tomorrow at church we are saying good bye to a lady who is moving away. She is quite involved in the church and I will be sad to see her go. Nine months ago I didn't even know her name. Tomorrow I will miss her. That is progress for me.
I think I'm feeling content. Hello? Is that you contentedness? Is this what you feel like?
Thanks Lord for your goodness.
Monday, June 6, 2011
The Rules
I don't understand the things I do. I don't do what I want to do, and I do the things I hate. (Romans 7:15)
Ya, I understand that Paul. There have been many timesI have tried very hard to live a righteous, godly, good life. And I have always failed. Frustrating. That's not to say my life is a cesspool of sin, but it's not where it should be either. There's an external moral law I think we are all vaguely aware of. Within the context of religion there are expressed rules to be obeyed. That's what religion is; rules to be obeyed to earn our way to God or Nirvana or righteousness or a higher life form. That, however, is where Christianity differs. It is not about us working our way to God, it is about God making his way to us. So where did all the rules come from? Well, like I said religion is our way of working ourselves back to God. Within different cultures and times people have tried to codify their morality to make this holiness measurable and achievable. Within the realms of Judeo/Christian heritage I believe there was a time where we needed rules and God set out guidelines for us to follow. We didn't know any better and Jesus had yet to pay the price for our sins. The Holy Spirit had not yet been sent to all believers. The rules kept us protected. The rules helped us live this holy life. We all have a sense that we need to be holy just like God is holy. I think we all try to live by some type of moral rules, whether biblical or from some other origin. They are hard to obey. Impossible in fact. We simply can't do it on our own. That's how we know we're hopeless without an external saviour. Jesus is that saviour. But if God made a way, what becomes of the rules? Those rules are now obsolete and useless. Does that mean I'm free to do whatever I want? No. It means there's a new rule in town. Love God with all your heart and soul and mind. That's it. All the old rules did was show us that under our own effort we can't be holy. It's exhausting. If we truly loved God with every fiber of our being that holy life would be natural. It is no longer us striving to be holy, it is now the Holy Spirit living in us that makes us holy. Not through our own effort, but God's grace can we live this holy life.
The early Christians were struggling with the rules things as well. Here's what Paul told them.
We have freedom now, because Christ made us free. So stand strong. Do not change and go back into the slavery of the law. Listen, I Paul tell you that if you go back to the law by being circumcised, Christ does you no good. I'm warning you if you allow yourselves to be circumcised, you must follow all the law. If you try to be made right with God through the law, your life with Christ is over -- you have left God's grace. But we have the true hope that comes from being made right with God, and by the Spirit we wait eagerly for this hope. When we are in Christ Jesus, it is not important if we are circumcised or not. The important thing is faith -- the kind of faith that works through love. You were running a good race. Who stopped you from following the true way? This change did not come from the One who chose you. Be careful! "Just a little yeast makes the whole batch of dough rise." But I trust in the Lord that you will not believe those different ideas. Whoever is confusing you with such ideas will be punished. My brothers and sisters, I do not teach that a man must be circumcised. I wish the people who are bothering you would go all the way and castrate themselves! My brothers and sisters, God called you to be free, but do not use your freedom as an excuse to do what pleases your sinful self. Serve each other with love. Live by following the Spirit. Our sinful selves want what is against the Spirit, and the Spirit wants what is against our sinful selves. The two are against each other, so you cannot do just what you please. If the Spirit is leading you, you are not under the law. The Spirit produces the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. There is no law that says these things are wrong. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified their own sinful selves. They have given up their old selfish feelings and the evil things they wanted to do. We get our new life from the Spirit, so we should follow the Spirit.
I know I don't always do the things I want to do, and what I don't want to do I sometimes do. However, the effort I spend trying to do and not do these things is pointless. My entire effort should be to live by the Spirit. That's it. I am no longer striving to be holy, I am striving to allow the Holy Spirit to live through me.
Ya, I understand that Paul. There have been many timesI have tried very hard to live a righteous, godly, good life. And I have always failed. Frustrating. That's not to say my life is a cesspool of sin, but it's not where it should be either. There's an external moral law I think we are all vaguely aware of. Within the context of religion there are expressed rules to be obeyed. That's what religion is; rules to be obeyed to earn our way to God or Nirvana or righteousness or a higher life form. That, however, is where Christianity differs. It is not about us working our way to God, it is about God making his way to us. So where did all the rules come from? Well, like I said religion is our way of working ourselves back to God. Within different cultures and times people have tried to codify their morality to make this holiness measurable and achievable. Within the realms of Judeo/Christian heritage I believe there was a time where we needed rules and God set out guidelines for us to follow. We didn't know any better and Jesus had yet to pay the price for our sins. The Holy Spirit had not yet been sent to all believers. The rules kept us protected. The rules helped us live this holy life. We all have a sense that we need to be holy just like God is holy. I think we all try to live by some type of moral rules, whether biblical or from some other origin. They are hard to obey. Impossible in fact. We simply can't do it on our own. That's how we know we're hopeless without an external saviour. Jesus is that saviour. But if God made a way, what becomes of the rules? Those rules are now obsolete and useless. Does that mean I'm free to do whatever I want? No. It means there's a new rule in town. Love God with all your heart and soul and mind. That's it. All the old rules did was show us that under our own effort we can't be holy. It's exhausting. If we truly loved God with every fiber of our being that holy life would be natural. It is no longer us striving to be holy, it is now the Holy Spirit living in us that makes us holy. Not through our own effort, but God's grace can we live this holy life.
The early Christians were struggling with the rules things as well. Here's what Paul told them.
We have freedom now, because Christ made us free. So stand strong. Do not change and go back into the slavery of the law. Listen, I Paul tell you that if you go back to the law by being circumcised, Christ does you no good. I'm warning you if you allow yourselves to be circumcised, you must follow all the law. If you try to be made right with God through the law, your life with Christ is over -- you have left God's grace. But we have the true hope that comes from being made right with God, and by the Spirit we wait eagerly for this hope. When we are in Christ Jesus, it is not important if we are circumcised or not. The important thing is faith -- the kind of faith that works through love. You were running a good race. Who stopped you from following the true way? This change did not come from the One who chose you. Be careful! "Just a little yeast makes the whole batch of dough rise." But I trust in the Lord that you will not believe those different ideas. Whoever is confusing you with such ideas will be punished. My brothers and sisters, I do not teach that a man must be circumcised. I wish the people who are bothering you would go all the way and castrate themselves! My brothers and sisters, God called you to be free, but do not use your freedom as an excuse to do what pleases your sinful self. Serve each other with love. Live by following the Spirit. Our sinful selves want what is against the Spirit, and the Spirit wants what is against our sinful selves. The two are against each other, so you cannot do just what you please. If the Spirit is leading you, you are not under the law. The Spirit produces the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. There is no law that says these things are wrong. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified their own sinful selves. They have given up their old selfish feelings and the evil things they wanted to do. We get our new life from the Spirit, so we should follow the Spirit.
I know I don't always do the things I want to do, and what I don't want to do I sometimes do. However, the effort I spend trying to do and not do these things is pointless. My entire effort should be to live by the Spirit. That's it. I am no longer striving to be holy, I am striving to allow the Holy Spirit to live through me.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Friday, June 3, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Faceless
Red, another band of Christians, as opposed to a Christian band have recently jumped onto my radar. I know their style of music isn't everyone's cup of tea but they are very good at what they do. I think, as Christians, we should do what we are good at to the best of our abilities and thank God for the opportunities that arise. Too often I see the Christian subculture copying the current culture and putting a Jesus stamp on it. There are little Christian Beyonces and Brittanys and Beibers running around out there now. What I appreciate about Red is the fact that they are good enough at what they do to blaze their own trail in the music industry, receiving attention for their talent from the general public, not merely travelling through Christian circles, insulated from the real world. Here is Red performing their first single from their third disc, Faceless, live on Conan.
I'd give anything to live
With You I don't exist
I'm not strong enough to pay this ransom
A part of me is dead
Need You to live again
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Rubber, Meet Road II
There was a challenging sermon at church today. It touched on something I've been thinking about for a while. How do I live this Christian life? What is the purpose of this life? It is definitely more than the job you have, your money, tv, car or vacations. If we are not caring for the less fortunate and sharing our relationship with Jesus there is simply no point to this life. All we are doing is creating psuedo-purposes to amuse ourselves and pass time until we die.
I have been looking for the place where I fit in this Christian life. I'm still looking. I'm finding bits and pieces. I have to admit, one of my frustrations is my job. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy what I do, but my schedule is very demanding and doesn't give a fixed time table to plan regular events. It's hard to be involved when I can't guarantee when I will be free. So that's where I'm at right now. Of course, outside of organized ministry there is personal ministry. What I do on my own when I am free is up to me. The problem is, I need my own personal time just to stay healthy. I don't want to make excuses for not going out and helping people, but I get peopled out during the course of the week and the last thing I want to do after interacting with the public 50 hours a week at work, and going to church, C&C, small group, and spending time with friends is to be with more people. So, should I cut out some of those things, to make room for "ministry" or are those other things ministry themselves? All I know is I wish I worked less and served more. I find right now I donate to causes and charities I'd like to be involved in but can't be so that at least I know I am financing someone else to do what I wish I could. It feels like a cheap substitute though. I don't want to pay someone to do the work Jesus has called me to do. Then again, maybe my ministry is to be a financier of those other ministries?
I'm still looking for a way to live out the gospel. Here we go.
I have been looking for the place where I fit in this Christian life. I'm still looking. I'm finding bits and pieces. I have to admit, one of my frustrations is my job. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy what I do, but my schedule is very demanding and doesn't give a fixed time table to plan regular events. It's hard to be involved when I can't guarantee when I will be free. So that's where I'm at right now. Of course, outside of organized ministry there is personal ministry. What I do on my own when I am free is up to me. The problem is, I need my own personal time just to stay healthy. I don't want to make excuses for not going out and helping people, but I get peopled out during the course of the week and the last thing I want to do after interacting with the public 50 hours a week at work, and going to church, C&C, small group, and spending time with friends is to be with more people. So, should I cut out some of those things, to make room for "ministry" or are those other things ministry themselves? All I know is I wish I worked less and served more. I find right now I donate to causes and charities I'd like to be involved in but can't be so that at least I know I am financing someone else to do what I wish I could. It feels like a cheap substitute though. I don't want to pay someone to do the work Jesus has called me to do. Then again, maybe my ministry is to be a financier of those other ministries?
I'm still looking for a way to live out the gospel. Here we go.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Romantic Thoughts
The title is a bit of a misnomer but accurate. Here's a collection of thoughts that are somewhat related. They were triggered by my recent scheduling to accommodate a series of weddings popping up this year.
I know 2 couples that have gotten married within the last month. Two of my younger cousins are getting married this Summer and two girls (now women) from one of the youth groups I used to lead are getting married. And one of their younger sisters already got married earlier this year. It seems like most of the people I went to high school and Bible College with are married and have kids, or are on their way. Not me. Why? It feels like I missed my turn off on the road of life. What the heck?
I find it difficult to comprehend what a marriage relationship consists of. I know plenty of married couples. Some of which I'm envious and others I never want to end up like. Somehow each person found another person that decided to spend the rest of their lives with them. I suppose they fell in love. How does one go about doing that? I have no idea. I've said repeatedly that I really don't have a firm grasp on the whole idea of relationships, let alone romantic relationships. They just don't make sense to me. I do desire friendships though, I just don't quite understand how to be in one. Given the option, most of the time I like to be alone. That is not conducive to maintaining a friendship. I've been working very hard at overcoming this trait of mine the last 9 months or so and I suppose some friendships are starting to take place, slowly. So, now what? What is the difference between a romantic relationship and a regular relationship? Yes, I do know the basics, but that's not what I'm asking about. I have relationships with the people I work with, but I wouldn't call them friendships. I have relationships with my extended family members. Some I would call friends. Some I would call acquaintances, and the only reason we have that level of relationship is because we are related. Now I know I am probably going to over think this, but what is the nature of relationship? Is it a linear progression only, or does it have different subsets, each that can progress linearly, or am I completely wrong and it is more of a cloud or web nature?
A linear view would start at A and move to B, C, D and so forth.
Strangers - Acquaintances - Friends - Romantic Relationship.
I don't know if I like that view. It implies that a romantic relationship is the pinnacle of all friendships and all relationships progress in the direction.
The Subset would say there are different kinds of relationships, that don't necessarily progress from one to another but along their own linear progressions.
Relationships - Strangers (no progression)
- Acquaintances - Progressing from little known to much known between acquaintances
- Friendships - Progressing from low intimacy to higher intimacy
- Romance - Progressing from low to high emotional and physical intimacy
This type of view doesn't exclude relationships from jumping one line to another, but it doesn't take for granted that one leads to another as they develop. This would explain why it is conceivable to know someone from work for a decade and never be more than acquaintances, know someone for years and be friends, and know someone for months and get married. They are just different lines to progress along, never leading from one to another no matter how much time or progression is involved.
The cloud or web view of relationships throws all that out the window. Every type of relationship at every different level is represented and interconnected. It would be possible to jump from stranger to deep friendship to acquaintance to intimate romance and back again. I've seen some people live their lives like this. I would find it exhausting.
I think relationships are too nebulous to define.
And what about love? I love my family, but that isn't the love of a marriage relationship. I loved my pet dog. I loved the kids from up North. All different kinds of love. And none of them are the love I'm trying to figure out. What is love? I've heard of love described as three separate and distinct types. Eros, physical love. Philos, brotherly (or friendship) love. Agape, unconditional (spiritual) love. I can see that. I suppose that the "love" of a romantic relationship would be all three kinds of love. I can't really say that I've experienced that before. Which brings me back to my original question. What the heck?
Trying to understand it to experience it seems pointless. I know "in the moment" people who are not very introspective or deep who seem to have found it. They didn't bother trying to analyze it or think it through.
It's all a mystery to me for now.
I know a couple who met in grade school. They dated all through Junior and Senior High, and University before they got married. They've now been married for almost 15 years. They have known each other and been in some sort of relationship for almost 75% of their lives, and they are only 40. I know a guy who met a girl at a wedding on the other side of the country. He flew back to see her 2 weeks later. Two weeks after that she moved across the country and moved in with him. They are now talking about getting married. All that happened in the space of 2 months. My point? I don't know. It seems as though both couples have found something they call love and they both did it very differently from each other.
And God is love. Our purpose in life is to have a relationship with God and each other. As much as I want that, I can't comprehend the enormity of all that it entails. It's mind boggling to me. The greatest commands in scripture are to love God with every fibre of our being and love our neighbour as ourselves. That blows my mind. I don't even know where to begin.
Whatever love is, it involves a choice. There is a decision to love that must be made at some point in time. Love doesn't simply happen to us. We aren't the victims of our feelings or emotions or hormones. Even when all cylinders are firing the decision to love must be made or it isn't really love at all. And that decision involves commitment. There is permanency to real love. I think that's why a lot of relationships break up. There was no decision made to love. There was no commitment. There was no permanency. There was only feeling. I'm sure that happens in all kinds of relationships, from simple friendships, to marriage and even our relationship with God.
Lord, please help me live out a life of real love. Amen.
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