There was a challenging sermon at church today. It touched on something I've been thinking about for a while. How do I live this Christian life? What is the purpose of this life? It is definitely more than the job you have, your money, tv, car or vacations. If we are not caring for the less fortunate and sharing our relationship with Jesus there is simply no point to this life. All we are doing is creating psuedo-purposes to amuse ourselves and pass time until we die.
I have been looking for the place where I fit in this Christian life. I'm still looking. I'm finding bits and pieces. I have to admit, one of my frustrations is my job. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy what I do, but my schedule is very demanding and doesn't give a fixed time table to plan regular events. It's hard to be involved when I can't guarantee when I will be free. So that's where I'm at right now. Of course, outside of organized ministry there is personal ministry. What I do on my own when I am free is up to me. The problem is, I need my own personal time just to stay healthy. I don't want to make excuses for not going out and helping people, but I get peopled out during the course of the week and the last thing I want to do after interacting with the public 50 hours a week at work, and going to church, C&C, small group, and spending time with friends is to be with more people. So, should I cut out some of those things, to make room for "ministry" or are those other things ministry themselves? All I know is I wish I worked less and served more. I find right now I donate to causes and charities I'd like to be involved in but can't be so that at least I know I am financing someone else to do what I wish I could. It feels like a cheap substitute though. I don't want to pay someone to do the work Jesus has called me to do. Then again, maybe my ministry is to be a financier of those other ministries?
I'm still looking for a way to live out the gospel. Here we go.
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