Although I know I am not the only one, it is still nice to occasionally hear a similar voice saying, "I like to be alone. I don't like crowds. I'm not a socialite. I'd rather hide in the bathroom than have to shake 50 people's hands and make small talk before the church service begins."
Here's an excerpt from the book:
I relished times of solitude, reflection and personal study. I enjoyed people and found satisfaction in depth of relationship and conversation, but even when I spent time with people I liked, I looked forward to moments of privacy. I found crowds draining. I could stand up in front of hundreds of people and preach a sermon without nervousness, but I often stumbled through the greeting time afterward because my energy reserves were dry. Though I did not know this eight years ago, there is a label for this personality feature that I once thought crippled my potential for ministry: introversion. But more than my introverted temperament was involved in producing such agonizing results. Partly to blame was the one dimensional image of leadership that I had constructed. There was an irresolvable conflict between the artificial image and the temperamental characteristics of introverts... I tried to beat and squeeze myself into a mold of leadership instead of becoming the leader God had created me to be.
My struggles to be an introverted pastor are representative of the struggles many introverts face when navigating the waters of Christian community, which can be unintentionally, or intentionally, biased toward extroversion... It is my experience that evangelical Churches can be difficult places for introverts to thrive, both for theological and cultural reasons. Just as I have had a difficult time squaring my own temperament with common roles and expression of the pastoral ministry, so also many introverted Christians struggle with how to find a balance between their own natural tendencies and evangelical perspectives on evangelism and community. A subtle but insidious message can permeate these communities, a message that says God is most pleased with extroversion.
I have always said the purpose of this blog is to give people a chance to get to know me a little better, despite my introversion. So, if you are an extrovert trying to understand this introvert or introverts in general click on the link below. Click on the Google Preview button on the page that opens and you can read the book online.
Introverts in the Church | Contents- InterVarsity Press
4 comments:
"I'd rather hide in the bathroom than have to shake 50 people's hands and make small talk before the church service begins."
Is that why you don't come ten or twenty minutes early? That totally makes sense why.
Actually, I am embarrassed to admit it, but yes it is. And as long as I'm admitting to things, even up to a couple years ago, I actually did plan bathroom breaks to coincide with the meet and greet times during the service. I'm much better now.
I'm an introvert, but I'm not that bad with the meet and greet.
I can do it. But it drains my energy reserves. It feels like running a 10k race. I'm not saying I don't like the people though, because I do, I just get exhausted from making conversation. I know it sounds kind of weird. I'm best around people when there is a purpose or goal. When we're just "hanging" out I feel quite vulnerable and exposed.
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