Friday, February 14, 2014

Everything I Know About Women: Part 2

Two years ago I wrote the following post as a joke (mostly):

Everything I Know About Women

Seeing as it is 2 years later, and I think I've learned a lot more, I will share a few tidbits of my knowledge with you in honour of Valentine's Day.

Disclaimer: I realize that Not All Women Are Like That. But they are the minuscule minority. The following is generally true.

1 Most women don't know what they want in a guy. They think they do, and they will give you a list of what they are looking for. However, unless you have managed to find one of the only few completely open and transparent women in the world, they will not tell you the whole truth. Partially because they don't want to admit it and partially because they don't actually know. The reason for this is because they have been socialized to not admit what they really want, and purport to want what they are marginally inclined towards.

2 When women say they want a guy who is funny, or a guy who is smart, or a guy who likes kids what they are really saying is they want a hot guy who is funny, or smart, or likes kids.

Quick quiz: Who would women say they are attracted to more?

The first guy has a trail of ex girl-friends but he's trying to change. He doesn't have a steady job, doesn't have an education beyond high school, and doesn't care much for kids. The second guy is honest and sincere. He has a PhD in math, is a Big Brother, hopes to be married and have kids one day. Everyone he works with finds him friendly and funny. (And for the Christian ladies out there, he's also dedicated Christian and sits on his church's board.)

If you answered B, you lied. Although women want to believe that they would choose B, they wouldn't, not if they had a chance with A. Women will try to rationalize this decision by saying that attraction isn't everything in a relationship and that after they get to know Guy B they would choose him. They would be lying. They will go for a string of A's before getting to a B and usually by then its out of desperation, not choice.

3 Women want a man who is taller, stronger, wealthier and more dominant than they are. There can be some compromise on one of two of these qualities if the others over compensate.

4 Women want to be a princess rescued by a prince. They want to feel safe and secure because a man is protecting them. Only half will admit it, but there is a reason why Disney is so successful and old fairy tales are still around. There is a push to change that narrative in today's society but those who pretend they don't want the prince are deceiving themselves.

5 Women want to be a part of something greater than themselves. Usually they want to be brought along on an "adventure" a man is having.

6 Women are meaner than men. They don't resort to physical violence to the extent men do, but prefer psychological warfare and will torment whoever they feel deserves it for a very long time.

7 Women are emotionally driven, unlike men who are factually driven. That's not to say that women can't be factual and men don't have emotions. Everyone has to deal with facts to survive in the real world, but women will default to emotions as a guide or deciding principle much more often then men.

8 Women are extremely jealous of other women and are usually insecure about their looks. Rarely will they admit it. 

9 Women are nurturers. Those who aren't know they are an aberration but usually try to shame others for pointing this out. 

10 Women like flowers because....
        They are pretty. They smell good. If it is a gift from another woman it means that a friend is thinking about them. If it is a gift from a man, it means he's exhibiting his ability to provide resources and he's thinking about her. Of course, if he's guy B, they are creepy and she will give them away or let them die quickly.

If you disagree with the above, you are trying to rationalize away what you know to be true. That should be number 11. Women will try to rationalize the irrational because they don't like what the truth my be. They will usually resort to an outlier or anecdotal exception to discredit what they refuse to accept. I may elaborate on the points I made above. Perhaps, next Valentine's Day.

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