I have difficulty sharing the truth in a kind way. My default position tends to be rather blunt. Shotgun honesty. I'm working on it. The first phase of my recovery is just holding my tongue. Sometimes I don't need to correct someone. It just doesn't matter. If there is a major consequence as a result of someone doing something wrong based on a lie I will step in, but those situations are not nearly as common as I used to believe.
My guiding principle to sharing truth is giving everyone the benefit of the doubt that everyone wants to know the truth. Sometimes the truth contradicts what one wants to believe is true or contradicts one's feelings. Those are the areas I'm working at sharing the truth in a more loving manner. I try to treat people as though we are on the same team, with the same goal (the truth), rather than the opposition. The truth doesn't care about your feelings, but I do. I try to put myself in another person's shoes. What would it mean to my paradigm, my world view, my life, if I learned something I held as absolute was completely wrong?
Here's some examples from my life I'm currently mulling over.
A co-worker can't meet the type of guy she wants to end up with. She's fat. She asked what do guys want. The harsh reality is that guys don't want to be with a fat girl. They aren't attractive. If a guy is not attracted to you, you can have all the "personality" in the world and it doesn't matter. That's the truth. Get over it. If she were to lose weight she would have a much larger pool of guys to draw from with lot more quality guys in the pool.
A friend has started a business. It's a recreational business that few would be interested in other than a specific niche. Unfortunately its also quite easy to do at home without having to buy a lot of expensive materials. In my opinion its a very bad business idea. I think it will fold in under a year, after losing a lot of money. However, all our friends are telling him how great it is. I think a true friend should tell him to cut his loses and get out now.
An acquaintance is constantly posting "politically" correct soap box one liners calling on all the social justice warrior talking points. Its annoying seeing her "preach" all her untruths and opinions validating her own sense of virtue and superiority. One of her fake injustices is cultural appropriation. First, that's not a bad thing. Get over it. But secondly, and most hypocritically, she (a Caucasian) went to Africa and adopted a black baby. Let that sink in. If cultural appropriation is "bad" then the absolute worst version of cultural appropriation would be to appropriate a human baby of a different culture and race. This is one of the examples in which I have absolutely no compassion when sharing the truth. I'm patient with stupidity, not those who are proud of it.
If the truth offended you, I'm not sorry about that.
