So Much To Say

Dear Diary,

I have so much to say but I'm not sure how to say it, so I'm listening to music and staring at a blank screen trying to sort through my life at the moment.

This has been a difficult Summer for me. I'm worried anything I write will have its roots in the pain I have been trying to work through. I know most of what I've written the last 2 months has come from that place and I don't particularly care for it. I am not as happy or positive as I used to be. I want to be the way I used to be. I don't know when that will happen. I have had a lot of people asking me how I'm doing lately. It hurts to be asked because I don't know how to answer. Should I do the socially acceptable, "Fine, how about you?" or the more honest, "I can barely crawl out of bed. I spend all day in my pajamas trying to sleep"?

I just want to be me again.

God, please fix me.